Life is Precious

Another coal mine explosion with 140 lives lost and 11 missing! And yet, this happened in the same province where the toxic water spilled into the river. Life, under whatever hard condition it lives, should be respected and treasured. Imagine those miners working hundred meters underground where there is no light and fresh air, and everyday is another day living on the edge of death. They don't have much in life, yet still have much to lose. And of course, nobody choose to live a life like that. And who would?

Equality and liberty is always a difficult call when the bottom line is not taken care of, when people have to struggel to survive. The lucky babies in the city rarely realize how we have been abusing the resources we have without caring much about where it comes from and how much we should appreciate what life has offered us and then give back in return.

Compassion has its own limitations. We only make progress when we indeed fight for it. Sometimes the outcry has to be loud and so it will resonate in more places.

Absolute liberty, not a Silver bullet

The cold winter is officially here in Beijing, accompanies by gust carrying the sand from Mongolia. The fallen leaves are now everywhere on the streets, and even the sun is out shining in the sky, it only gives little warmth to the earth. Somehow I have started my cave-in winter life, not much of a choice but a more comfortable way to deal with the harsh winter weather. Yes, the cave in life refers to things like watching DVD, reading books, drinking some hot tea and meeting friends at home or coffee shops for chat. Last Friday, I watched the movie “Bleu”, the first one of the three color trilogy. Blue, which stands for liberty, is the main topic of the movie. The central question is, do we want absolute liberty? Is that actually desirable? As much as all of us want it as basic human right, it is a double edged sword just like everything else. We want liberty, due to the fact we are born to be curious about the world we live in and we want to be free so we can enjoy the vast opportunity that life presents. However, absolute liberty means no attachment/string to anyone or anything, but is this what we really want? What about love, care and giving back?

I remember the time when I first went to Chicago - I was thousands miles away from my parents, friends from school time. Yes, at the beginning I was quite pleased by the fact that I was finally free (well, for the most part, I enjoyed the freedom of expression in a western country), but being completely free and not attached to the society is not really appealing sometimes. We all need an identity in the society and we want to belong to a community that we feel comfortable with. And most importantly, we want to be loved and cared, the things that really make life an enjoyable journey rather than a lonely voyage.

So we end up in the ongoing struggle between love and fear of losing love, freedom and discipline. And the modern world, not only provide the convenience and comfort of material life, but also present its immense opportunities to us. Very naturally, we get lost in the temptation land.

Well, someone might say, why try to figure out the directions? Just enjoy the ride!

But, the real happiness almost never comes from just being free and light as air, but from knowing what you do matters but it is affecting other people’s life. A good friend of mine ever said to me, that most of our pain, sadness, frustration is caused by caring too much about ourselves, once you have your mind focus more on the society and other less fortunate people, you will be happier.

I think he is definitely right about that. And I have to admit that I have done too little to give back to the society where I grow up. It should be my new year resolution for 2006.

Old Fashioned way vs. Technology

Nov 27th, 2005.

Today is my worst shopping experience. I went to the Pacific Century shopping mall and it took me only two hours to figure out what I wanted to buy – well, with the complicated promotion (buy 200 get 150) here, this was actually quite efficient. Then I finally got into the cashier, neither my credit card or China merchant debit card wouldn’t work, I was getting quite frustrated. Seeking the last resort, I went down to the ATM machine on the first floor hoping to get some cash so I could finally buy those clothes and go home for dinner. It turned out, though, the ATM don’t take my debit card either due to an apparent network problem with China Merchant bank. So I ended up going home without buying anything.

On the way home, out of disappointment, I came to realize how much we rely on technology these days, it becomes part of our routine and we take it for granted. And we have been enjoying all the benefits that technology has brought us – automated process, less manual work, stay connected all the time and Internet has created a virtual new world for us…But everything has its limitations, and sometimes old fashioned way is still the only way that works. And admit it or not, we human beings who created machines are far more resilient than the machines made of steel, powered by high speed chips. The truth is, machine breaks down and might never come back again but the potential of a human being is yet to be defined.

Break away

Nov 20th, 2005. It is a beautiful day in Beijing, after a few gloomy days, the sun finally comes out of the clouds and smog, and the sky is turning to gleaming blue. And yet, the real winter hasn’t come, so we are enjoying the last glow of autumn warmth with the winter chill mixed in the wind. I am wandering around in my new two bedroom apartment, which is only 2km away from China world hotel, and I could see Jianwai Soho along with all new buildings (some finished, some under construction on the 3rd ring road) from my balcony.

It is so easy to get content with this comfort of life here in Beijing, I say to myself when looking at the skylines of Beijing. I have a circle of friends from different continents of the world, and I have my old classmates from high school and university, and I have my parents here enjoying their retirement in their nice townhouse in the suburb and my sister who has been happily married for more than ten years. Life is good – my apartment is brand new, close to the actions. I don’t have to do the cooking myself, there is a variety of reasonably priced restaurants. And there is always a lot to do on the weekend, meeting friends for coffee/dinner and going out to the clubs or going on a hike when weather is good.

I love Beijing, the city both old and modern, the city has so much to offer and the city has its own unique style, character underneath its outer looks which is sometimes not so polished.
So why I have decided to leave Beijing and go to London where I literally don’t know anyone. Maybe because life becomes too easy and comfortable here so I have lost my inner drive for challenges? This is only the third year after I came back to China after living in USA for three years, is this kind of destiny that for me three years is a time for change?
Well, life is a movable feast and I have to live it to the fullest. However, I have to admit that things are a bit different now compared with six years ago when I decided to go to the USA for my MBA. I was much younger, very sensitive, full of curiosity about outside world, and to me life was suddenly opening up a new wide path which could lead me to explore the immense landscape. Now, I am still young (I guess), not as curious as before, much stronger and less vulnerable, but most importantly have a very different view about the world and understand much more about life.
Though what has not changed inside me, is that I still have the passion to try out new things and explore the undiscovered. Stability, would only appeal to me for a short while, I am always a believer in the theory that the true beauty and excitement comes when you look up and find out there is still another hill to climb up and you know it is going to be a whole different road going there.

Three months from now, I will be working and living in London as an expatriate, interesting scenario, kind of new identity.for me. The perspective of being able to travel around in Europe and seeing these places makes me quite excited, yet the fact living away from home country, in a big city like London could be a bit difficult at the beginning. Well, I will find my way there, and the funny thing is when I come back (if I will) I might have adopted the lovely British accent!