The farewell has started, overshadowed by the gloomy weather

It seems my farewell has kick started on this Saturday night - dinner with some good friends at Shinyeh, a taiwanese restaurant and after drinks at Souk, a cozy bar at west gate of Chaoyang Park. Three years and six months after being back in China from the states, now it is time to move on with my life and start the new adventure in London.

Beijing is still my city and my home- with my love and deepest sadness for its shortfalls and the sincere desire to make it more beautiful, more appealing and most importantly, make it match up to a first class city in the world, that is my dream anyway. With the great wall standing behind us and thousands of years history, this shouldn't be a goal too remote to achieve.

There is a kind of love you don't utter, but it is with you everyday, that is what I feel about the city I have grown up with, witnessing its falls and rises, its good days and bad days. In the past week, it's been horrible weather in Beijing, it is so polluted that you hardly see the sun or the stars, I almost don't remember the sky is supposed to be blue. But today, when walking out of the bar, I saw the stars shinning on the dark sky, so bright, that almost makes me want to cry. At least, now I know tomorrow will be a better day...It is really the hope that makes people stay alive, isn't it?

Sometimes I can't help to wonder about how other people live and think, especially the less fortunate ones. There is never a fair game in this world, but you try your best to win. What about the people who start from the bottom of the society? Like the hundreds of immirgrant workers coming to Beijing, do they find a sense of home, security and comfort or it is rather a long journey looking for a better life. They have done a lot for the better looks of Beijing - new office buildings and residentials and subway lines, but what we have offered them? Is that true our society has become so cruel that we only look up to the "successful" which is defined by nice cars/houses, and just completely ignore the ones who are contributing to a major part of the construction of new modern society? And sometimes I think it is so sad that we have become so heartless that this comparison with the less fortunate would only make us feel better about our relatively better position in the society, and rather than feeling the need to help and bridge the gaps?

There is a shadow in the booming prospect on the surface. Sometimes I feel like the affulent middel class here have become too content and focus on our own lives and the society has lost its drive and vision for a better and more balanced development of future.