Christmas in China

Christmas is not something in our cultural origin or religion, but hey, given its colorful and sometimes dazzling decorations, it is far more appealing to the kids and the youth in China than those traditional festivals in China. And considering we are playing catch up game with the west, it is not surprise to see the Christmas treee with lights, dancing santas and numerous Xmas celebrations in shopping malls, hotels and bars.

My sister's birthday is Xmas day, a 100% coincidence, but apart from the fact she is a big lover of western art and music, she is nothing remotely related to Christian. I bought this Hula Santa toy for her, it is this Santa that can swing the hula to the music once you turn it on. Quite a neat design, and this is just one of the many Santa toys I saw this year, including Swing Santa, Disco Santa and so on.

I spot something very interesting yesterday when I walked by the Mcdonalds in a busy street in Xidan. There are two Xmas trees in front of the big Mc, and there are hundreds of paper sticking on the branches of the trees. I came close and took a look, it turned out to be some notes left by kids/teenagers on the Xmas eve (probably after they had the "Happy Meal" at big MC), on the note it says anything from good wishes to their friends and their wishes for the coming new year. I can't help to be amazed by this inventive marketing campaign by the Mcdonalds, a very impressive marketing tool to win the hearts of the kids!

Take a look at the picture I took - I don't think the trees look so pretty with those white trash hanging on it! Not sure it is a smart idea or rather a way to damage their brand!

China in the 80s and 90s

I am reading "Mr.China" , an interesting book written by an English man who came to China in the early 90s and witnessed the changes that has swept China in the past decade. Last Friday in Nanshan, I took a break from skiing, resting and reading this book in the little open tea house on the side of the ski slope. The sun was starting to set in behind the mountains far away, and rays of remaining light painted the sky in orange and red. I always liked the sunset in the winter time when it was clear sky, you get to see the sun in this golden and orange color, hanging in the background of grey skyline and bare trees.

That is the kind of scenary that always touches my heart, making me want to smile and cry at the same time. I was very much intrigued by the storylines in the book as well. The author took me back to the China still under the planned economy, where there is an obvious lacking of resource and free mind. Yet, these were not too long ago from us, and I was in high school and university when China was slowing shifting to the market economy. I still vividly remember the subtle words our professor used in my first year in University, she said "our economy, is no longer a pure planned economy because it is too inflexible, instead now our economy is Planned Market Economy." Great invention, somehow you have to admire the creativity of some of the smartest minds in this country by then. But indeed, how do you plan a market oriented economy?

Well, the answer is I couldn't remember when the market economy was formally accepted and announced as the mechanism in China to the outside world. Sometimes, playing with the word is an art, and indeed, art sometimes is more precise than science! Being a student majored in economics was in the middle of this whole transition fueld by confusion and chaos. I remember the first year in university we learned Karl Marx's "Capital" and "socialism planned economy"as the main courses, then in second year, we were asked to learn how to manage "planned market economy" and also the western accounting practice as main courses also the "Western Economy" (something similar to Macro Economy in the west) as the selective courses. And as a surprise to everyone, one year before graduation, we were informed that there wouldn't be any arrangement of jobs by the University, instead, Job-searching should be two way choice between banks (for the peolple majored in finance) and the graduates. I guess I could say I was the witness of how the planned ecomomy collapsed and was replaced by the market oriented economy and as a result I benefited from the freedom of career choices and development.

Skiing

It is a perfect day for skiing. Clear sky, sunny, no wind and quite warm (5 degree for winter is not bad!!). Getting up early in a cold winter morning is not so "desirable" but once I got there, I feel it is really worth the effort. After two hours in the snow, I came down from the slope and had my lunch in the outdoor restaurant overlooking the ski slope. It is so nice to sit there, enjoying the fresh air and gazing at the moutains far away. I wish I could do more of this kind of outdoor fun, so refreshing both for the body and mind!

Dual Identity

I met some old friends on the weekend, it is always nice to see them even we don’t meet that often. It is getting more difficult when people get old, start a family and especially after women have kids. One of my friends said “I still can’t believe we are 30 something women now, we still look so young, who would believe that if we don’t tell people? “ Well, probably true. Sadly though, time does change people, maybe not physically that much but mentally it leave its trace in a more subtle way. I guess you can say it is a confusing age, when you look young and think young most of the time, but then the society, like an intangible force, wakes you up from time to time and make you think about things that belong to your age group. It is a bit struggle between illusion and reality.

The other interesting phenomenon, when I think about my old classmates from high school and university, is this new identity for our generation. We are the generation who have witnessed the swift changes from the late 80s till the new 21st century. There are quite a few of us who have been abroad for studying/working or immigration. The overseas experience does change people in a profound way. We tend to adopt new things more quickly and develop a more independent and broader view of the world than our parents. However, cultural shock, as it is, works both ways. When we came back from abroad, the shortfalls in our home country become amplified and more obvious, and sometimes unbearable. This is the country we love and feel pity for at the same time. And we want to see ourselves as more international citizens, someone who are the beneficiary of China’s reform and wave of globalization, but at the same time we still have our root, which we are strongly attached to.

The demonstration outside the WTO meeting in HongKong is not an isolated case. It is a rather complex issue, a clash between globalization and nationalism, a compromise between short term and long term prosperity. If the world could be no boundaries, we would be happy kids living in this wonder land. But the question is, do we believe we could sacrifice our self interest and try to reach this ultimate goal? Or it is rather a utopia?

Sometimes I am proud and grateful that I am living in the transitional age, but at same time, as this dual identity also impose some confusions, but then again, I enjoy the ride! Life is more about to experience and enjoy the process itself, even not seeing the end result of it.

The rules of nature

Is it true that our life has become so much better than before, so we, the self-acclaimed rulers on earth, become so greedy that we want to live forever? I watched the movie “Island” yesterday, it was kind of sci-fi/action movie, in which an institute created human clones for rich people as their “insurance policy”, so when the rich people get sick and need to have a transplant of heart, liver or any organs, they would ask the institute to deliver their product to them and so the riches can live longer, if not forever. And these human clones, are not considered as humans, but rather as products, so they could be killed anytime when the rich people need to have a new organ. Predictably, in the movie this inhuman institute was overturned and thousands of their products were saved and get to live real human life rather than veggie life.

To me, the movie presented a rather interesting question, where should we draw the line between the right to save an existing life and use another life to save a life. I definitely think stem cell research is something we should encourage and continue and use it as a tool to save more lives. But of course there is always a danger that some people might abuse the biotechnology breakthrough and use it against basic human rights.

And there is a deeper question out there - why we want to live forever? It is very easy to understand that nobody wants to die, but maybe we should follow the rules of nature, which is live and die, we come from the nature and we come back to the nature. I would rather think we should try to enrich life experience and enhance the quality of life both for us as well as for the generations after us, instead of trying to live as long as we want. Manipulation of natural process of live and death is probably not a desirable thing, and most likely will be punished by the rules of the nature. We have been fighting very hard trying to change the nature, but maybe sometimes we should let it run in its own course.

Winter lights

Lights are such a blessing on a cold winter day, the sense of warmth is just beaming through your heart. I remember the winter in Chicago, and the little Xmas lights they put out on the streets. Most of the memory of the winter in Chicago is cold, lots of snow, the chilly mornings I got up and shuffled away the snow and ice on my car, and the first three minutes after I get in the car, it is freezing! And yet, people kept telling me that was the mildest winter they had in past ten years, so I actually got lucky - considering I spent two years in Florida before moving to Chicago. What lingers in my memeory, is those little lights on the street in downtown Chicago, very pretty, giving some softness and warm flavor to the cold air.

Wondering what the winter would be like in London, well, not much snow I guess, replaced by rain most likely. One things for sure though, is that being a more internantional city, I think London has more to offer, and plus, if I get stuck in rainy London, I can make a short trip to the City of Lights - Paris.

Mading China (Made in China)?

Last weekend, when I was wandering around in the famous Yashow market (the western visitors' paradise for shopping genuine fake clothes, shoes and accessories), I noticed a sign hanging at one silk clothes stand, it says "all mading China". I was puzzled for a second, then quickly realized it and laughed, "yeah, well, it meant to say made in China!" It is not the first time to see those funny Chin-English signs though. If you walk around in Beijing, you get to see a lot of those, it is worth a laugh, but then as a Chinese, I also feel sad and a bit ashamed that in a lot of ways Beijing is not a modern and world class city yet. The most difficult thing for foreigners, is that you hardly find people who can speak relatively passable English. And honestly I don't really think this will change that much before the 2008 Olympics.

And really, a lot of things are still very substandard, when it comes to manners, social responsibility and general care/respect for life. You see rude drivers everywhere on the road, spitting is still a major problem, and those annoying little ad flyers pasted on the pavement or slip under your doors. I remember when I was travelling in the beautiful country side near Shanghai last spring, it was late April, the season when this little yellow flowers in full blossom in the fields, I was sittting in the train, enjoying this gorgeous scene outside the window. Then out of sudden, the scene was replaced by trashes littered along the railway, river banks, it was just disgusting! I closed my eyes, and felt the deep sadness filled my heart. And indeed, that scene, like a shadow, has been hanging there since then. And don't forget, this area near Shanghai is not poor, a lot of the farmers (or rather prefarmers) there have been a major beneficiary of China's reform and industrialization. You see nice a lot of three storey houses built near the river side and it is the locals who live there not tourists. But apparently, they still don't care about the environment around them, there is no sense of building a community that people would relate to.

I have thought about the idea of opening a book club but maybe also expand it into a virtual community that promotes reading, education, communication and public awarness of values and humanity. It is easy to build nice looking high rise buildings in the modern era that we live in, even in a developing country, but the quality of life relies more on things underneath the surface of infrastructure itself.

Housewarming

Good friends make life so much fun and enjoyable, and indeed that was how I felt on Saturday when I had my official housewarming party. A bit belated I guess, considering I moved into this new apartment five weeks ago). But it took me two weeks to get things settled and then the London assignment came up, so one thing after another, finally I set the date and sent out the invitation on Tuesday.

I started the party preparation in the morning, made two trips to the grocery store, getting the beer, liquor, snacks, paper cups and so on. And the birthday cake (two girls had their birthday on Friday so I decided to give them a little treat) was delivered around noon. By 4 pm, I got everything ready and got to relax a bit before the guests came. It was a bit strange feeling waiting for the guests, it is kind of like “now it is your party, see how it will turn out.” Even there are more than ten people confirmed coming, I was still a bit worried, there are always people who drop out at the last minute. But after the first group came, people turned up one after another, I finally ran out of all the glasses, even champagne glasses, wine glasses had been put into use. So paper cups, which are not my favorite, since they are against my environmental concerns and don’t look very elegant, had to be used as well. The party stretched quite long, started around 6pm, and the last group left around midnight. At the peak, we had around 16 people in my house. Everybody seemed to have a good time and liked my new apartment which certainly made me very happy. And the two girls who had their birthdays on Friday were both surprised to see the cake.

After the last guests left, I found out there were too many bottles of drinks from Vodka, Gin, Whisky to red wine, white wine, beer, juice and sodas. Gosh, almost enough for another party! Well, now the new is out that everybody knows that I am moving to London in two months, so there will be a going away party as well, but most likely will be in some bars, so people are more relaxed and could go wild if we want.

And to show my dedication to some fine and serious cooking, I have started cooking for myself this week, something I haven’t done for a long time. Actually, it was not that difficult and time consuming as I thought. On Sunday night, I cooked some shrimp, stir fried some veggies and steamed rice in the microwave, all in all it only took me forty minutes. And I had my first real dinner in my warm apartment, with some wine, quite enjoying myself. Well, for a minute, when I looked out of the window seeing all the city lights and looked around my nice new flat, I almost couldn’t believe that I am leaving so soon. I said to myself, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, you are the girl always on the move. You can’t stand a life that is too easy and comfortable so that things get boring. Yes, I guess that is me, which I can’t change, and I probably don’t want to change either.

As of today (Tuesday), I have been eating cakes for breakfast every morning, well, the leftovers from the party does last quite a while. And I still have half of the chocolate cake （a friend brought for the party.）in my refrigerator. And as a new habit, I have a little drink before I go to sleep every night, anything from wine, Vodka cranberry juice to some sweet stuff like bailey. Not a bad treat for the cold winter days in Beijing. From last weekend, the harsh winter is hitting us in full force. My face just goes numb after ten minutes exposed outside.

I will choose books over bread everyday

The temperature has dropped sharply this week, time to curl down with a good book in a warm house with the aroma of coffee in the air. I went to the Bookworm readers’ club launch party yesterday evening. It was at the newly relocated bookworm (a library/bookstore/café). Compared with the old one, this new bookworm is more spacious, brighter, and more comfortable seats and much better laid out overall. The launch party is sponsored by Penguin publishing house and Cityweekend. When I filled out the survey, I pondered on the question “how many books do you read every month?”, well, honestly, I haven’t been reading many books in the past three years, maybe 3 books a year, but too shamed to tell the truth, I wrote down “1” on the answer line. They have a good selection of books, not as in most bookstores at the airport, where you only find those best sellers, which in most cases are only entertaining but not inspiring. I bought a few books, including Ha Jin’s “War Trash”, the story about a Chinese who got caught by Americans during Korean War in the 50s, and this books got him the award the second time in the USA.

I sat down on a sofa in the back of the room, quite touched by the quote on the survey paper “A lonely booklover once said I will choose books over bread everyday.” We were supposed to carry this on by writing limerick, which I have no clue how to go about in English. Again, I realized the limitations of not being the native speaker. Then I started chatting with a few people sitting around me. It turned out they are all in music industry, two guys, one French and one Dutch, are both DJs playing in some clubs here in Beijing. We talked about the clubs around town and the music they play. We all agreed there are not many good clubs in town really, and there was this club called “Cloud Nine” seemed to be all our favorite, but sadly it was closed two years ago. Yes, I remember that was such a swanky bar, with lounge downstairs and dance room upstairs. Stylish seats and nice deco, there was a Jazz band playing downstairs and some good guest DJs playing upstairs in the dance room. Well, good music, just like good books, are universal…

Then it was the lucky draw, I didn’t expect to win anything as I almost never won anything from lucky draw in my life, but guess what I got lucky yesterday! I won the book “Not quite the diplomat”by Chris Patton and it is hardcover copy as well. That was a really nice surprise, or the climax of the night for me.

At the door when leaving the bookworm, I saw the dark haired French DJ guy, “Nice meeting you”, I said, He turned to me and said “You are leaving”, as if it was too early to leave a party, “Yes, going home”, I said. “So I will see you around?!” he said with a smile, “I guess so.” I said, smiled back. Yes, he is indeed French.

Walking on the street, the cold air suddenly caught me, but with a few books on my hands, somehow I felt the wind is not as chilly as before and I am coming back to the old days in my life where I was this little girl always indulged herself in books, very shy and sensitive, but I guess I have grown up, becoming a more sociable and open minded person. What's not changed inside me though is that I still have an artist heart.

Losing your mother tongue? How is that possible?!

One of my friends read my newly launched blog and said to me, “Shouldn’t you have your blog in Chinese or at least Bilingual”? Good question, contemplating for a while, and I decided I will try to have my blog both in English and Chinese – maybe not for every post, at least for some of them. After all, knowing your root and keeping your root is very important. And still I find it is more comfortable and powerful to use your monther tongue when it comes to express something more sophisticated. Chinese, as the language, has its unique beauty of being subtle but direct as the same time.

So I got a big task this weekend to write something in Chinese, which I haven’t done for a while. And yes, it has to be something good, something to reflect where I come from.

Life is Precious

Another coal mine explosion with 140 lives lost and 11 missing! And yet, this happened in the same province where the toxic water spilled into the river. Life, under whatever hard condition it lives, should be respected and treasured. Imagine those miners working hundred meters underground where there is no light and fresh air, and everyday is another day living on the edge of death. They don't have much in life, yet still have much to lose. And of course, nobody choose to live a life like that. And who would?

Equality and liberty is always a difficult call when the bottom line is not taken care of, when people have to struggel to survive. The lucky babies in the city rarely realize how we have been abusing the resources we have without caring much about where it comes from and how much we should appreciate what life has offered us and then give back in return.

Compassion has its own limitations. We only make progress when we indeed fight for it. Sometimes the outcry has to be loud and so it will resonate in more places.

Absolute liberty, not a Silver bullet

The cold winter is officially here in Beijing, accompanies by gust carrying the sand from Mongolia. The fallen leaves are now everywhere on the streets, and even the sun is out shining in the sky, it only gives little warmth to the earth. Somehow I have started my cave-in winter life, not much of a choice but a more comfortable way to deal with the harsh winter weather. Yes, the cave in life refers to things like watching DVD, reading books, drinking some hot tea and meeting friends at home or coffee shops for chat. Last Friday, I watched the movie “Bleu”, the first one of the three color trilogy. Blue, which stands for liberty, is the main topic of the movie. The central question is, do we want absolute liberty? Is that actually desirable? As much as all of us want it as basic human right, it is a double edged sword just like everything else. We want liberty, due to the fact we are born to be curious about the world we live in and we want to be free so we can enjoy the vast opportunity that life presents. However, absolute liberty means no attachment/string to anyone or anything, but is this what we really want? What about love, care and giving back?

I remember the time when I first went to Chicago - I was thousands miles away from my parents, friends from school time. Yes, at the beginning I was quite pleased by the fact that I was finally free (well, for the most part, I enjoyed the freedom of expression in a western country), but being completely free and not attached to the society is not really appealing sometimes. We all need an identity in the society and we want to belong to a community that we feel comfortable with. And most importantly, we want to be loved and cared, the things that really make life an enjoyable journey rather than a lonely voyage.

So we end up in the ongoing struggle between love and fear of losing love, freedom and discipline. And the modern world, not only provide the convenience and comfort of material life, but also present its immense opportunities to us. Very naturally, we get lost in the temptation land.

Well, someone might say, why try to figure out the directions? Just enjoy the ride!

But, the real happiness almost never comes from just being free and light as air, but from knowing what you do matters but it is affecting other people’s life. A good friend of mine ever said to me, that most of our pain, sadness, frustration is caused by caring too much about ourselves, once you have your mind focus more on the society and other less fortunate people, you will be happier.

I think he is definitely right about that. And I have to admit that I have done too little to give back to the society where I grow up. It should be my new year resolution for 2006.

Old Fashioned way vs. Technology

Nov 27th, 2005.

Today is my worst shopping experience. I went to the Pacific Century shopping mall and it took me only two hours to figure out what I wanted to buy – well, with the complicated promotion (buy 200 get 150) here, this was actually quite efficient. Then I finally got into the cashier, neither my credit card or China merchant debit card wouldn’t work, I was getting quite frustrated. Seeking the last resort, I went down to the ATM machine on the first floor hoping to get some cash so I could finally buy those clothes and go home for dinner. It turned out, though, the ATM don’t take my debit card either due to an apparent network problem with China Merchant bank. So I ended up going home without buying anything.

On the way home, out of disappointment, I came to realize how much we rely on technology these days, it becomes part of our routine and we take it for granted. And we have been enjoying all the benefits that technology has brought us – automated process, less manual work, stay connected all the time and Internet has created a virtual new world for us…But everything has its limitations, and sometimes old fashioned way is still the only way that works. And admit it or not, we human beings who created machines are far more resilient than the machines made of steel, powered by high speed chips. The truth is, machine breaks down and might never come back again but the potential of a human being is yet to be defined.

Break away

Nov 20th, 2005. It is a beautiful day in Beijing, after a few gloomy days, the sun finally comes out of the clouds and smog, and the sky is turning to gleaming blue. And yet, the real winter hasn’t come, so we are enjoying the last glow of autumn warmth with the winter chill mixed in the wind. I am wandering around in my new two bedroom apartment, which is only 2km away from China world hotel, and I could see Jianwai Soho along with all new buildings (some finished, some under construction on the 3rd ring road) from my balcony.

It is so easy to get content with this comfort of life here in Beijing, I say to myself when looking at the skylines of Beijing. I have a circle of friends from different continents of the world, and I have my old classmates from high school and university, and I have my parents here enjoying their retirement in their nice townhouse in the suburb and my sister who has been happily married for more than ten years. Life is good – my apartment is brand new, close to the actions. I don’t have to do the cooking myself, there is a variety of reasonably priced restaurants. And there is always a lot to do on the weekend, meeting friends for coffee/dinner and going out to the clubs or going on a hike when weather is good.

I love Beijing, the city both old and modern, the city has so much to offer and the city has its own unique style, character underneath its outer looks which is sometimes not so polished.
So why I have decided to leave Beijing and go to London where I literally don’t know anyone. Maybe because life becomes too easy and comfortable here so I have lost my inner drive for challenges? This is only the third year after I came back to China after living in USA for three years, is this kind of destiny that for me three years is a time for change?
Well, life is a movable feast and I have to live it to the fullest. However, I have to admit that things are a bit different now compared with six years ago when I decided to go to the USA for my MBA. I was much younger, very sensitive, full of curiosity about outside world, and to me life was suddenly opening up a new wide path which could lead me to explore the immense landscape. Now, I am still young (I guess), not as curious as before, much stronger and less vulnerable, but most importantly have a very different view about the world and understand much more about life.
Though what has not changed inside me, is that I still have the passion to try out new things and explore the undiscovered. Stability, would only appeal to me for a short while, I am always a believer in the theory that the true beauty and excitement comes when you look up and find out there is still another hill to climb up and you know it is going to be a whole different road going there.

Three months from now, I will be working and living in London as an expatriate, interesting scenario, kind of new identity.for me. The perspective of being able to travel around in Europe and seeing these places makes me quite excited, yet the fact living away from home country, in a big city like London could be a bit difficult at the beginning. Well, I will find my way there, and the funny thing is when I come back (if I will) I might have adopted the lovely British accent!